Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
