My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
