At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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