Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
