Your mouth is God's brothel.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
