Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
