i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
