you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
