he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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