# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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