ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
