I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
