last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
