She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
