Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
