Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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