Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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