Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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