Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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