Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
