Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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