that's an acceptable place to lick
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize