yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
