Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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