A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
