We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
