I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
