trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
