Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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