now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm too high and old for this...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
