He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
