First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
