So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
