You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
