I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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