Don't you send me to vm
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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