I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
