I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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