So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
