seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
