She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
