i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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