well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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