Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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