Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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