birth control should be required to get into college
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
