I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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