i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
