OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
