we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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